life its tuff

Been trying to found a reason to get better in this life. ''life is tuff'' i remember my granpa say to me before die.

Its very hard remember him, for years i don't even know what was to have a grand father, and in just a second after 18 years finaly i knew it...

at first it was difficult to talk with him, i felt so awkward, i didnt know what to talk, what subject... about.. what?

but al last ... our relationship was changing, somehow my trips to his house on the beach make it better. and i was so proud of him, it was difficult, it was happy, it was amazing .. ''finally i have a granpah!'' i was telling to myself.

2 years pass till we knew, we knew that he had cancer.... and it was then when i understood the famous words ''life is tuff''.

December 27- 2010, he die.. December 27, 6 days after my birthday, 2 days after christmas... 4 days before new year.

I miss my granpah so much, he was the only image of 'grand father' that i had, and i miss him, even the times that i didnt to talk to him, even when he didnt look at me like a Granddaughter.

There's one thing that i remember of my granpa when i was a kid, it was on his beach house... some family stuff i think, and it was my granpa and i, looking for some Crabs on the rocks; i was like 8 years old and i was about to touch one of the alive crabs and he say to me ''don't... its gonna hurt, and i don't want to you cry cause big girls don't cry'' and he smiled at me... for the first time, he smile at me...